A Poem For Parents
Author unknown

There are little eyes upon you,
And they are watching night and day;
There are little ears that quickly
Take in every word you say.
There are little hands all eager
To do everything you do;
and a little girl who's dreaming
Of the day she'll be just like you.
You're the little gal's idol;
You're the wisest of the wise;
In her little mind, about you
No suspicions ever rise.
She believes in you devotedly,
Holding all you say and do.
She will say and do in your way
When she's grown up like you.
There's a wide-eyed little gal
Who believes you're always right;
And her ears are always open,
And she watches day and night.
You are setting an example
Every day in all you do;
For the little girl who's waiting
To grow up to be just like you.

Psalms 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is His reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. 5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed (a disappointment),, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Having children is ONLY the beginning of Christian parenting, AND is probably the easiest part of the "ministry of parenting".

Yes, I did say "ministry of parenting"

Parenting, like so many other ministries, has gone "modern". After all, we need to keep up with the times. I hate to break this startling fact, BUT this ministry of parenting is the oldest of all activities, even older than self preservation. The rules for this ministry have NOT changed since the ministry was instituted by God.

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Please note that mankind had JUST been created.

(1) No instructions had been given.
(2) No tasks were assigned.
(3) That couple had not explored the wonders of the Garden.
(4) They hadn't even had their first meal.

They hadn't done ANYTHING, yet. They were still "lying" on the creation table --- OR wherever they were, fresh from the hand of God.

The point we need to see is that their "docket was clean". There were no entries in their "PDAs". They hadn't even been issued a "Day Planner", yet. I don't know if they even knew that this was the 6^th day of creation. So, with that clearly in our minds, we want to see the very first task that God gave to mankind.

At birth, the first thing the doctor does (so I'm told) is to whack the kid on the behind, or some facsimile thereof. I can't speak to the veracity of such facts, because I don't remember my birth day, even though I was there. I probably cried as soon as I could, JUST to avoid the proverbial whack.

If the first thing after birth is a "whack" on the behind so the child will cry, maybe the first thing after creation is a "pat" on the head. I don't know! It's just a thought.., for what it's worth.

I don't know about the sequence of mankind's creation, but I do know that the first thing God did for humanity, after creation, was to "bless" them (pat them on the head?). The next thing God did, for mankind, was to give them their first instructions. The very first command of God, to humans, had to do with parenting.

Genesis 1:28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply;

Being fruitful and multiplying, is certainly the first step of parenting, and if you multiply, you will "parent" even if you don't know how

After God gave the initial instructions concerning parenting, THEN He then gave them instructions concerning vocation and eating.

Genesis 1:28 (b) fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth." 29 And God said, "See, I have given you every herb that yields seed which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree whose fruit yields seed; to you it shall be for food. 30 "Also, to every beast of the earth, to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, in which there is life, I have given every green herb for food"; and it was so. 31 Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

This all took place on the 6^th of creation, before Adam had even had his first meal. I would assume from this account, that God thought the ministry of parenting was somewhat important.

I started this study with a statement and a passage of Scripture. Please read both, once again. Then let's spend a little time with the passage, and some related subjects.

Having children is 

ONLY 

the beginning of Christian parenting,

AND 

is probably the easiest part of the "ministry of parenting".

Psalms 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is His reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. 5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed (a disappointment),, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Some have wrongly used this passage

to promote the idea that Christian couples

should have as many children as is physically possible.

The passage dose not say that simply having a lot of children, is a blessing. Please understand that the flip-side is not: That having a lot of children is a curse, because that is not necessarily so.

Although some might have other ideas on the "curse" aspect about the time their kids turn teenagers!?! Having children is "doing just what come naturally", and this passage is talking about doing something that is anything but the status-quo of being natural.

Yes, there is more, much more to Christian parenting than just giving birth. There seems to be a pseudo-christian philosophy that, "If I have 'em, God will raise 'em to be good Christian men and women...."

That pie in the sky non-Biblical pipe dream does not hold water. Let's look at a few verses that clearly establish this fact. We will limit our looking to a few verses in Proverbs, but there are many more that bring out the fact that kids do not usually turn out good, on their own, EVEN though the parents have "given" their children to Lord.

The Lord gave instruction and will help you in the parenting process, BUT God will not remove your responsibility and assume that responsibility, SO you can have a free ride.

Proverbs 19:26 He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach.

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 10:1 The Proverbs of Solomon: A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother.

Proverbs 15:20 A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother. 21 Folly is joy to him who is destitute of discernment, but a man of understanding walks uprightly.

Proverbs 30:11 There is a generation that curses its father, and does not bless its mother. 12 There is a generation that is pure in its own eyes, yet is not washed from its filthiness. 13 There is a generation--oh, how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up. 14 There is a generation whose teeth are like swords, and whose fangs are like knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men. 15 The leech has two daughters, crying, "Give! Give!" There are three things that are never satisfied, four things never say, "It is enough": 16 The grave, the barren womb, the earth that is not satisfied with water, and the fire that never says, "It is enough." 17 The eye that mocks his father, and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it. (The passage goes on to say that there are three things too wonderful for me)

Certainly the Scriptures are not a presentation of hopelessness for the parent, but they do establish that this opportunity and this great task is not just a breeze and a snap, to be taken lightly.

Children that "make it" Spiritually 

ARE 

a blessing to the parent!

Proverbs 23:22 Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. 23 Buy the truth, and do not sell it, also wisdom and instruction and understanding. 24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him. 25 Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice.

If you have a family of "WISE CHILDREN", what a delight and joy. Even if you have one out of the whole batch who is wise, its a blessing.

Wisdom is not in the genes, my friend! Wisdom does not come to fruition by "doing what come naturally". Nor is wisdom found in things, pleasures or the knowledge of this world. With those things in mind, let's go back to our passage in Psalms 127

Psalms 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is His reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. 5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed (a disappointment),, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

There is not enough time in one lesson to properly cover the truths of this passage. Please, allow me to point out a few very important truths taught here, and expanded throughout the Scriptures.

The "key" to understanding what the Holy Spirit is presenting in this passage centers around one word.

"LIKE"
Psalm 127:4 

Easily understood is the declaration of v.3. Children are a heritage FROM God, and the fruit of the womb can only be a reward FROM God. NO one else has that power or the gift of life.

However, simply having your "quiver full" of kids does not necessarily make a man happy. Do I hear a protest?

"BUT  that is what the Bible says!"

I'm sorry that is not what the Bible says, that is what some have said the Bible says. To understand what the Bible says, we must understand "like" of v.4 as well as "quiver full" of v.5. Tragically, we will only have time to brush by both.

Please allow me to give these verses a little different arrangement, which will do no damage to the original, BUT will take them from the Hebrew poetry form, and put them in the common language of Americaneze

Then I think you will see what the passage is saying, without me saying another thing. But of course that is not going to happen, because I'm supposed to say things, lots of things. So I will do what I'm supposed to do.

Psalms 127:5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; 4 (If they are) Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. They shall not be ashamed (a disappointment),, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

As we have already seen in several other passages, AND there are lots more that tell us that a child, unlike an arrow in the hand of warrior, does not always bring happiness, BUT can instead generate great sorrow.

We will only have time for a few highlights from this passage. I might add that those going to the men's retreat will have the opportunity to see even more wonderful highlights from this and other Scriptures.

First of all, this was a

"warrior",

not a new recruit, not just a solider.
 A  WARRIOR!

I know it is difficult to direct your thinking back to a time of warfare using bows and arrows. If you can't make that transition, think of it in the setting of modern warfare. By using the modern setting, it will lose some of its color but when you see the "big" picture, then you can go back to the bow and arrow "thing".

In the modern armed forces, we have:

(1) Those in training or boot camp.
(2) Those who have completed their training and are waiting deployment.
(3) Those who have served on the battlefront.
(4) Those who have been in battle after battle and have proved themselves as excellent, far above the average, such as an "ace" fighter pilot.

An ace fighter pilot is one who has been in combat, been shot at and has personally shot down at least 5 enemy planes. Whether it be a pilot, a foot solider, a sailor or whoever, a person of that quality would be considered a "warrior", in the sense of our passage.

A solider using the bow and arrow, in the day and age of our passage, was confronted with many things, not the least was his arrows. Each arrow had to be made by hand, and handmade arrows are each different.

The warrior of Psalms knew that when his life depended on it and the nations survival was in the balance, he had to know and have the "feel" of each of his arrows.

There are many factors involved in hitting the target consistently with a bow and arrow. I have a little understanding of that, because I used to teach archery. I even hit the target once. When I taught archery, we worked with machine made arrows. Those arrows were all the same, and all had virtually the same balance.

Here is where this passage comes alive.

Don't miss this!! 

The arrows of our passage were all handmade, all different and all had different balance. When a soldier took an arrow, he MUST know, by the "feel" of the arrow, whether it would shoot:

(1) Straight
(2) With a wobble
(3) With a hook - up, down, left or right
(4) The distance to the target
(5) Etc.

That was one of the factors that distinguished a warrior from just a good solider. The purpose of an arrow was not for show, it was not to impress the neighbors, it wasn't the center of a good time. You didn't dump all your arrow on the table, and play pick-up-sticks.

The purpose

of an arrow is to go

from the bow

to

the target in a

proper

 manner.

I could stop right there, because a word to the wise should be sufficient. However, not questioning your "wiseness", but let's continue and put a little more meat on this frame. The Spiritual "happiness" a person has from their offspring starts with the fact that the parent is FIRST a "warrior".

Parenting is not for amateurs!!!
YOU 

don't have to have experience in parenting,
BUT  YOU 

 must have experience in the battle of life,
AND  YOU

  must have been seasoned to be a "Warrior"!

As a parent, you must be battle worn and battle wise. That means knowing the battle plan, and being tested in the plan enough so that it becomes second nature, and so you will respond in a proper manner when under pressure.

In the past few lessons, we have been talking about being equipped properly to endure the pressure when it comes. If you don't remember the lessons, please go back and read the text or get the CDs.

A soldier can not become a warrior, by ONLY studying the battle plan. A warrior should know the battle plan. However, a soldier ONLY becomes a warrior on the battle field under the pressure of battle. A soldier ONLY becomes a warrior through proper, heroic and consistence response on the battle field, over and over again.

The warrior, in our passage, is a picture or an example of what the parent should be. Parents, how do you "stack-up" to the task of being a warrior? Not so good? Maybe you need a drill sergeant. Drill sergeants are good at molding attitudes and actions so they will be compatible with the battle field, and the plan of action.

Parents if you want this happy Spiritual situation with your children, in which they are not a disappointment and are able to properly speak with their enemies in the gate without becoming one of them, THEN you must become a warrior.

You must shape and balance your "arrow".
It is highly unusual for an "arrow" to bring balance to itself.

I'm sure that some are saying, "I'm not a warrior, and my children are half grown. Is all lost?" Ah, my friend! That is the marvel of God's grace!!! It is never too late to start becoming a warrior. You can't undo past actions and training, BUT there is always time to make a change and a difference.

It is called repentance.

Please, keep in mind that warfare is NEVER a game, and is seldom pleasant.

There are hours and hours of information in the Scriptures concerning being or becoming a proper warrior, but time will not allow us to go any further, we have over-stayed our time limit on this subject, already.

Let's turn our attention to the arrows. Most warriors, worth their salt, would not trust anyone else to make their arrows. After all, their life depended on that arrow.

By making their own arrows (children), they could build their preferred quality into each arrow. Not only could they control the quality of the arrow, they got to know that arrow.

In that way, when they took an arrow from their quiver and placed it on the bow, they knew and had confidence in how that arrow would fly - straight, wobble, hook to left, right, up or down.

Oh, yes we live in a different time!!! A time in which parents spend almost NO real quality time with their children, refining them for the battle. What time they do spend with their children is spent running them for one activity to another, and yelling at them all the way to hurry up or they will be late.

Too often, the coach of the little league spends far more time shaping the attitudes of their children, than do the parents. Parents, please don't give away, to someone else, your God given privilege of finishing your "arrows", and please don't sell your children to something or someone just to gain pleasure and build ego.

That dance lesson or the ball game will mean very

little

to your arrow (child) when it come time to launch it from your bow,

and that launch time will come sooner than you think.

On the other hand, that time spent in lessons and sports will mean something to them-bad attitudes they have seen in others, bad words they have learned from others, etc., etc., etc. Those things will, also, rob them of being with you AS a parent, NOT as a coach.

All these things have some benefits, but to get these few benefits, you may have to give up things of greater value. The dumpster behind McDonalds has some good food in it, enough to feed several families, but I'm not sure that the little value gained from the dumpster is worth the loss of value to retrieve it.

Please understand that games and lessons have value. However, times have changed so that if your child is in an organized type activity, your time, their time and their life belongs to that activity. As a Christian parent, any positives and negatives MUST be weighed carefully, in light of eternity.

KIDS  NEED  PARENTS

Yes! Everything, to your child, is so important right now, and if the child doesn't get it right now-they will "just die", or they will be mortified before the whole world, or something - or some other dramatic thing.

Parents!! Someone in the family needs to have a mature attitude concerning these things, and an eternal perspective of these actions. Someone the family need to be a parent and act with maturity.

Don't fall into the same childish pattern as your shortsighted children. Being a shortsighted child is not an indication that they are of no or little value. It simply means they are a child and haven't learned how to prepare for the future.

Don't become one in their shortsightedness, be a parent! God has given you that authority. Use it properly for the eternal benefit of you and your children. YOU will have to answer for your actions through the response of your children and/or by the judgment of God. Make sure that the time and effort spent will produce Spiritual and eternal results, NOT the opposite.

KIDS  NEED  PARENTS
KIDS  NEED  FAMILIES

There is very little in dance lessons or ball games that is going to equip your child to stand with and yet against the enemies of their soul when you launch them into battle, on their own. Let me tell you something that will help your "arrow" (child), when it must be launched from you bow.

I didn't have my father very long. He died when I was 11 years of age. Daddy was a country church preacher. Most of those churches could not pay him much, so he worked at anything that paid money and a lot things that didn't.

That fact has had a lasting effect in my life, although I didn't know it at the time. The fact of his ministry and life is the single greatest reason I am in the ministry today.

I didn't see my dad much. He was away making a living for us and the church. When he wasn't working, he was studying for three sermons each week.

All that had an influence on my life, and there were many other things he did and said that shaped my thinking and my actions. Very few of those influential things were dramatic. They were simply Spiritual reality in action in daily living.

However, there was one event that stands out in my mind, even to this day. That event happened at about this time of the year. Spring was "springing" quite well, and the wind was starting to blow just right for kites. Spring also meant that the farm work was starting, so daddy would now have some steady work through the summer.

Just a little more background. My friend had a kite. A nice kite. So, I grabbed the Sears catalogue and began to page through the kite section. Yes, Sears did have a catalogue back then, and the catalogue had quite a kite section.

Daddy was getting ready to go out to the farm to work for the day, and he ask what I was doing. To which I answered about my friend's kite. I had no illusions that we would order a kite from sears catalogue. We seldom if ever ordered anything from a catalogue except seeds for the garden.

Daddy's response to my telling him about my friend's kite was, "Would you like a kite?" Would I?? He said to come on out to the work bench and he would show me how to make one.

He did show me, but he didn't make it for me. NO one in the whole town had a kite like mine. I enjoyed my kite and many more that I made myself, and I made a few, a quite a few, for my friends. Yes, the kite was nice, but by dad took time that he could have been on the farm making money, to be with me.

KIDS  NEED  PARENTS
KIDS  NEED  FAMILIES
KIDS  NEED  YOUR  TIME

Psalms 127:5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; 4 (If they are) Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. They shall not be ashamed (a disappointment),, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Let's finish off this passage, because we have another two hours of Scriptures, we need to look at. Well, we do need to look at those things, BUT we won't, because time is against us.

If the warrior (parent) is what they should be and has done with the arrow (child) what needs to be done, then verse 5b tells us that the child will not be a disappointment to the warrior (parent).

Also, they will be able to

speak to

their enemies in the gate, in

contrast

to being

overcome

by their enemies in the field.

There is still a ton of "good stuff" in this passage, and we haven't even begun to compare it with all other Scriptures. If you want the truth of this passage in your life and the lives of your children, then you are going to have to make sure that every effort, every action, every hour of the day is dominated by the task of becoming a good and proper warrior. You will have to put aside the actions of pride, retribution and selfishness.

2 Timothy 2:1 You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2 And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. 3 You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 4 No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. 5 And also if anyone competes in athletics, he is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules.

Please Don't:
Teach your children
to be sophisticated or childish.
Please Do:
Teach your children
to be "childlike" in Christ, by your example.